The Silent Way We Use People Without Knowing It.

The Silent Way We Use People Without Knowing It

This hit me like a ton of bricks!

I didn’t expect to be rocked by today’s Kabbalah study… but wow, it shook something loose in me.

The teaching was simple, yet so profound:

If you’re depending on someone else for what you’re seeking—and they don’t give it to you—then you were using them.

Let that sink in.

It hit me hard because I’ve been there. I’ve had relationships/ friendships where I thought I was showing up in love… but deep down, I was searching for approval which was not the conscious intention.. For validation.

For someone to see me, to approve of me, to give me the green light to feel worthy or accepted.

And when they didn’t?

I felt crushed. Disappointed. Disconnected.

But here's the truth I was avoiding:
I wasn’t loving them. I was using them to fill a void I hadn’t faced.

That realization cracked open a pattern I didn’t even know I was carrying. I had unknowingly placed the responsibility of my self-worth on someone else’s actions. And that’s not love—that’s a transaction.

So today, I made a quiet promise to myself.

To no longer seek what I can only give myself.
To stop handing out emotional IOUs, waiting for others to validate me.
To show up whole. Worthy. Enough—as is.

Because when we love from fullness, we don’t chase approval.
We don’t beg for attention.
We don’t use people to fill the silence we’re afraid to face.

We become the source.
The source of our own joy, peace, and love.

And when we do that, our relationships shift too. They become lighter, deeper, more rooted in truth instead of need.

So, amiga, Chula, Hermosa let me ask you:
Are you loving… or are you using?

It’s not a shameful question. It’s an awakening.

You are worthy—not because someone says so—but because you are.

Here is a mantra for you:

I don’t chase, I attract, and that which I desire will find its way to me today!

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